Pokemon Short Crackfics
by Paradoxicle
Summary: Read it with a popato on your head and you'll achieve... Elevated existence. Crackfics.
1. Chapter 1

Arceus was doing nothing at all when he suddenly exploded in a spray of viscera, bones and femcum. Ash came along, jizzed all over his remaints and fed them to Charizard, which granted him power to Mega Evolve into a Beartic, who wasn't a Beartic, it was a Munchlax being buttfucked by a bipolar Ludicolo with a lisp under a point where everything imaginable and unimaginable coalesce. This abstract creature flew to Ash's house and talked to his mom.

''Hello, Ash's mother.'' Charizard said. He waved his penis in front of her face, but she kept her cool.

''Hello, Ash's Charizard. How you are doing?'' A Shuckle snotted in her face, and it became a hourglass made of lasers and Gardevoirs making anal love to rocks, which weren't rocks, for they were quadrocycles made of Machokes and cigarettes, but still driveable.

''I am doing it like ''AILAIKAMOVETMOVETAILAIKAMOVETMOVET'', by the way, what's on dinner?''

''I wouldn't be a table, but I'd like a lemonade and a liver massage.'' she told him. Charizard sighed nostalgically.

''Ah, the first time, I wish I had duck feet.'' Charizard droned, trying to charm the fridge with Attract.

Deliah was enraged at some fat lizard defiling the spirit of the place, so she punched Charizard's anus 3215 times, ripped it open and fired a Lock-On Sheer Cold up his skilled hole, killing the fuck out of him, his remains a once glorious world, but now a pile of ruined meats.

Ash arrived. He talked to his mom using his mouth and sheer desire for conversation.

''Why do you hate mashed potatoes?'' he asked with unhindered curiousity.

''I don't hate them, but I dislike them. Still It's not that I like them though, baka.'' she said, slapping him with her bra.

Ash snorted.

''Why shall I felch corpses under a dimensional gate where all smells of old, withered lemons?''

''Because you can, Harry.'' Deliah droned, constantly spitting in a bowl filled with water and broken dreams.

Ash punched billion nuclear bomb explosions right in his own face. It made him reappear in a Pokemon Center.

There sat Brock. On his shoulder were a 5-dimensional Saturn, a nightmare made of prostate necrosis and a giant Rubick cube filled with suffocating Lucarios.

''Why do you do harlem shake when I drop the bass and bitches like the cake?'' he asked.

Ash retorted with a rude comment. Out of his nose came a cockroach made of time and antimatter, but it was adimensional. It came on Ash's hair. impregnating the natives.

''Well, I think I'm a kettle made of cows, so I shine and bow, my liege.'' Ash droned back. Brock blinked.

''How? I tested Quagsires for endurance with a screwdriver and then I died a faggoty death. So-''

''You are a banana? I hope that thunder suns with vampire sharks make me a present. I want a bronze jockstrap with strawberry liquor.''

Brock hissed. He then abruptly screamed, vomiting flames and lightning bolts in the sky.

Ash thought of grapes.

Suddenly, May came. Brock groaned.

''May? Are melons made of lava and hatred or it's me that's a racist?'' he asked her, staring at her in the eye.

''What? You're saying some absurd bullshit, Ash. Go play with Pikachu or something.''

Ash gaped in disbelief. He fled into past and raped himself. Then he gave birth to an incarnation of everything impossible and possible, but his Mom wasn't into being called a grandma, so she threw the child into an unbelievably horrible, agony-filled hellpit where it's fed by demonic cubes everytime it asks, boys and girls.


	2. Chapter 2

May rolled on the ground, because she could. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Blaziken came.

''UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!'' he screamed in her face.

''What's wrong?'' May asked, her face full of sand, her eye raped by a crab.

''I ruptured my foreskin with a screwdriver and now I have homophobic thoughts.'' he complained. She got up in a

most proud pose she could muster and slapped him.

''You knave! Go kill a bug and eat it's wings until you'll become a lung full of heroine, or you'll never will be able to urinate properly again.'' she threatened him. He sniffled up his own leg and bounced away. On the way he met Ash who was transporting upside down, also bouncing, using his ear muscles alone.

''Whoa, by the most damned Aerodactyl spleens, Blaziken!'' Ash cheered with his shoe. ''Where's your eyebrow?''

Blaziken snorted.

''I slashed an oyster with a tin can and it gave me a ticket to an amusement park. I tried to ride a horse, but it had lupus and chronic liver psychosis, so it gave me a chromosomal harakiri Type-II. So I ate an elephant then-''

Ash was tired. He laid on the ground and snored. Blaziken smiled mischievously, spanked Ash and lipkissed him, making him pregnant!

May was mad at that.

''AAAARGH, YOU DICKWAD!'' she screamed. Blaziken wore a gangsta outfit, and started notoriously swearing.

''So were'z ma mothafuckin' earset, ya sweaty motafuckaz, huh, my fuckin' assHOWL? Ya pricks beda gimme it or ama gana do sum horrible shit to ya, dickoz. Ya, bitch. Mah dick gonn' HOWRD an' I needa stickit somewheah nigga, straighten up nigga, don't fuck with me nigga! Ama FACK May like a bitch, ya hiya meh nigga? Mah gang doez coke and chickz so yah betta don' FOCK wit' mah hood, an' there'z a gun up my G asshole, an' derez a SHET load of betchez wanting mah CACK 'ere in mah turf, yah hiya meh, nigga?''

May blocked the stream of utter nonsense with nothing at all. It was fine, until she realized that she was nonsense herself. She blinked.

She then realized Blaziken was also nonsense. She took a sniff of bluish powder and grinned like satan on coke.

And lastly she realized one thing: everything was nonsense. Humans gave it all names. It's all the same.

Blaziken sensed that somehow no one knew how, and he wanted to cry. And cry he did, as if a dimension of onions

mated with a quasar made of laser blades all while his eyes leaked lube for act support.

Out of nowhere came Super Mario. He crawled faster than a Ninjask on crack, yet slower that a pregnant Blissey, somehow. He shot lasers from his eyes, just for show.

Blaziken sommersaulted breaking his own spine in an abhorrently sounding way, his backbone protruding out of his

awkwardly placed corpse. Forth out of it came a 4-dimensional Garchomp with no name at all. Then it all ended...


	3. Chapter 3

Misty hung swinging on a seesaw made of dirt and compressed antimatter. She stared wishing upon the star-stained sky, her requests modestly nothing but a desire for others wished to come true. Her lone brooding was joined by Roxanne, who was listening to Xanopticon on her Aerodactyl. She looked at Misty, finding no answers, so they talked, their voices a communication of billions.

The vocal trading of female human specimen was interrupted by an entry of May, who arrived on her Blaziken. She jumped off him, punched a hole in his chest, from which she withdrew his pathetic, dying heart. The heart was like an ass. May bit off a buttcheek of it and flung it at Misty, who ate it. Then she fell on the ground, convulsing like a suffocating fish, then shitting her own organs out; her spleen, her liver and soon, her brain. The young girl stopped twitching, laying in a puddle of buttblood, viscera and defecation, whited out.

Roxanne stared at the ruined teenager, shedding a xenon tear, then she was met by Blaziken's stomach. She suffered the same death as Misty, though she eviscerated herself vaginally instead of rectally.

''At least she died not as a virgin'' May droned, then took a bite of Blaziken's buttock.

Blaziken made a surprised sound out of his nipple.

May slapped him, which he begiggled.

May made a mental note to slay the fuck out of her past self later.

She was about to climb Blaziken and leave, but she was met by an unknown entity. It was a multisexual, having 321 penises, 43262 vaginas, 32523526 nipples and 23232 different genders. It approached May and gave her a banana peel. She took it and placed it on Blaziken's head like a stupid cap. He screamed, giving cockbirth to a Wailord made of breakcore and exploding galaxies.

The entity made love to the Wailord, which Blaziken fapped to.

May wore the banana peel on her own head. And laughed.

The Love stares...


	4. Chapter 4

Where everything is shitty, May stood, tired, against Giovanni, who grinned like satan on coke. She was tired from being tired, so she withdrew her shitty spear from a dimension where everything is shitty, even shit. She grabbed some shit, rubbed it at the tip of the spear, swore and cut Giovanni's stupid leg off.

Giovanni made a very sad face, which she bit off, shoved in Brock's dickhole and laughed. But Brock wasn't there, so the face exploded, turning May's eyes into viscera lasers and her tits into hatred rockets!

Meanwhile, Brock was humping the sleeping Nurse Joy, but pulled out for no reason at all. He then grew wings made of sexual frustration alone and flew away! Joy woke up and saw the roof: there was a hole shaped like -O, where - was Brock's penis.

Tired of Brock's fuckfaggotry, she catched up with him on wings made of rage alone, punched his dick 5,642 times with a 10 ton dumbbell, harvested the dickpain with her hair and swung them through his stupid eyes, killing the fuck out of him! She then went back home, being afraid of being raped, or worse, being called a 'cutie'.

Back to May and Gee.

Giovanni laughed aloud as his Rhydon flirted with May, rendering her defenseless. Tired of this grinning dirteater's stupid laugh, Rhydon summoned Ash's stupid cap and wore it on Gee's head.

Gee gaped in disbelief. The cap smelt of Aloe, but he burped, then danced to hard-hitting and filthy dubstep until his head came off. May ate it, then thinked thoughts about cosmos and life.

''Oh, my.''


	5. Chapter 5

Pikachu sat on a thunder sun questioning why death metal Lucarios cry about glass demon prostates in a fucked-up language of Snifflepoo, a nation of all-transsexual yogi ninjas with fiery electric dildos for fingers. He fished a slimy booger out of his nose and licked that rod with a wet sound, then fished another one, punched a rift in his own face, from where he withdrew a photo of naked Ash with his butt high in the air and his privates visible, smeared the booger all over it and cried, masturbating and singing of results of not confessing one's love.

Ghestis was nearby, drowning in thoughts of Milotics and yanking his sweaty pole with a piece of abrasive paper, when he overheard Pikachu's mournings and decided to join him. He sat beside Pikachu and looked at the picture: a perfect example of a distorted beauty. With a booger smeared upon it.

''Wai awryuu kwrain, PInkraccoon?7? c:'' Ghestis droned. A Kadabra sneezed so hard, that his brain blue-screened and exploded, flinging rape cockroaches everywhere.

''Asch wil nevurr LUV mey b-cos ayem ah lEtTuL tOo little ToO (:'c'' Pikachu replied. The sky turned red and an alien spaceship arrived, dropping billions of million megaton bombs, but a superhero Skitty ate them all, then spat out a single bomb, which in fact had power of all these bombs combined. The spaceship cloned that bomb into trillions and dropped another million megaton bomb, detonating them all. But the universe called it too intense bullshit to process, and canceled it.

''WAAAAAH!1 dats BAdD, butt yew KYan'TT, LayKk, rayp heHm? :D'' Ghestis droned slyly, making Pikachu stop crying and make a thoughtful expression. A jolly-looking Lucario bounced around, using an umbrical cord of his former Hypno mother as a jumping rope, when his head suddenly exploded and he died. The End for him.

''Ayw tride! Bod ee hAhD Nowh poosi! D:)'' Pikachu complained, wiping his tears with his right arm. The one he wanked with.

Ghestis flinched so hard, it turned him into a gangsta. A Serperior nearby said ''Crap''. The ground shook and grew meaty testicles with spiders and bugs running around them, making disgusting sounds.

''Yow madawg, yo gada insist Liek sum nailed Kamehrooptd!1!'' he droned. A goose cackled with an energy to rip dimensions, making all hell break loose. Literally. Ash was strolling nearby with his mom. He suddenly grew a pair of legs on for his face, which he used to roundhouse kick his mom, then gave her a screwdriver. She did a swift-ass 'I-Don't-Know-Kung-Fu' motion, slashing every vital vein in her body, then withdrew her past self from a time-portal and carved a swastika on her hymen. This caused the present mom to grow horns made of skateboarding Salazzles and bile tornado dragons, but Ash kicked them off, killing the fuck out of her.

Pikachu sniffled, then hugged Ghestis, who rubbed his back to comfort him.

''Ayahm jasTaHh *sniffley* wick Leetel Puke-Achoo!'' Pikachu complained, then paused for a moment. Only then he realized: He was Puke-Achoo, of Clitfap.

Puke-Achoo screamed, filling the universe with the sound of his throat power. He summoned a horde of psycho dragon fairies and ordered them to give eachother a wingjob while Ghesti's Pokemon will laugh and fap to it. He then flew to Ash's home, dickslapped him, then dickslapped his mom after ripping his own dick off and replacing it with Ash.

''Ikachupay, uckfay it allay! Shay is a omophobehay, ouay on'tday eserveday histay!'' Ghestis screamed a drone. Puke-Achoo was enraged at his stupid leg, so he ate out an elephant because he loved their aftertaste, then landed a Shouryuken on his face, but Ghestis bit his own kidney off then vomited it back at Puke-Achoo, destroying his tail, then making all his leukocytes sing of futility of bridal promises.

''Ooorrgghorghorghorghorghorgh!'' Puke-Achoo laughed a throaty laugh, making fun out of Ghesti's pathetic attempts to hurt him.

''Oioioioioi, don' fOck wid mey!1! Ye beda PRAY, fer mah G Salamence wil botFAK yew!'' Ghestis screamed back and threw an Ultra Ball, freeing his Salamence, who looked like a gangsta as well.

''Sala-FUCKING-mence!'' The Dragon Pokemon cried, and so sexily, all pussies around started cooking.

''Hawrgh! Sum stOopeT dwragan skerws mey, yah Fink?7? Kum oWt, Dragonite!'' Puke-Achoo wailed, freeing a Dragon Pokemon on his own.

''Dra-GODDAMN-gonite!'' The Dragon Pokemon cried, and sexily enoung, so that pussies close-by became so wet it made oceans jealous.

The dragons saw each other and began a rap-battle, despite their trainers' orders to fight. Dragonite went first, doing dumb youngster gestures.

''Yo, yo're SO un-NIGGA and depressin' to watch, you look like yo're full o' organs to snatch! Yo moma is so beautiful and slim, my asshole. That I'd gladly let her swim, so buzz off!'' Dragonite rapped rhythmically, all while Salamence stared angrily. It was his turn now.

''Yaw, yo don' tell me shit, ya pansy fagga'. Ya lil' boy 'dere hold no cockpowah That I got. Ya beda jog moah or else, coma. Niggaz wil call ya 'yo fat momma'!'' Salamence retorted. It caused a fair ruckus between the fans of two rappers.

''Wut de FOWK1!'' Puke-Achoo screamed harshly. ''Yew soopoost 2 KILLDEFOKOUWTA Salamence! Dehel ye doin'?''

Ghestis was nowhere to be seen. The gangsters relentlessly rapped. Puke-Achoo was alone and sad. He laid on a bed and slept.

Fin.


	6. Chapter 6

Oikachu was listening to Boards of Canada until he suddenly felt so depressed that he slashed some of his vital veins open with a screwdriver, and while thinking of vodka dragons making sexy love on Ash's corpse, died. He was interrupted by Ash himself, who wore panties on his face and

''Pikachu.'' Ash droned.

''What?'' Oikachu asked.

''Pikachu?'' Ash droned again.

''What?'' Oikachu asked again.

''Nothing.'' Ash said, then walked away, grinning like satan on coke. He then caught Diantha, who was on her galloping Gardevoir, and fucked her, all while she was like ''Ah! Ah! Ah!'' and he was like ''Oh! Oh! Oh!''

Watching all this shit made Oikachu's scar hurt and he had a vision.

He was a choleric, yet reserved Ampharos with baseball bats for fingers and an electroshocker for a penis. His tail was shaped in such an uniquely mind-boggling way that time wrapped itself around it and space materialized into a naked human created solely to dance dubstep around it.

Shaking his noggin out of the trance, he looked at the fucking pair and sighed nostalgically. Ash raped Diantha's ass as hard as fuck, all while her Gardevoir barked cutely at Ash, who farted in his face, and Gardevoir sniffled his farts while farting himself, because he is a fart.

Cynthia's Spiritomb arrived and groped Gardevoir, at which he retaliated by killing the fuck out of him, somehow, I don't know. Gardevoir sacrificed Spiritomb's corpse to Giratina, but he lip-kissed Spiritomb. because Giratina was in fact Cynthia!

''We're...just...friends...is all~...'' Cynthia the Renegade Pokemon sexily droned, while staring lovingly at Spiritomb. ''...right, my dove~?''

Spiritomb smirked. Cynthia blew him a kiss.

He was enraged at her timidity, so he punched her devilish face into Arceus' asshole, so they merged into a being that was an incarnation of afterlife in a place that is Heaven and Hell mashed erratically by Mew on crack. Oikachu oinked then withdrew his motorcycle made of pig vaginas filled with envy and drove into thousand sunsets, yet again listening to Boards of Canada.

On the way, he smelt sweaty cocks, which enraged him. He withdrew his sword from nowhere. The sword was named Unholy Sickshit, and it constantly cried lasers made of pure hate and dropped bombs stuffed with evil Teddy Bears. He swung his sword around, and so randomly that he slashed his kidneys in two without actually damaging his furry skin shell. Oikachu's kidneys reacted violently to the cocksweat smell, and they transformed into humans without fetishes, who were at a approximate age of -564,72, sang of diversity of modern music and puked dark matter in streams upwards. The dark matter pelted birds and they became severed Mastodon pelvises with hemipenises made of two Eifel Towers each and bowling balls for testicles. One of the birds was too cool to transform into the same creature as everyone, so it became a golem made of hardened crap and mental disease discrimination, Admiral Pisspuke.

Pisspuke made fun of Oikachu, saying how stupid his name sounded. Oikachu oinked, then screamed so hard, Pisspuke was completely smelted from existence. Oikachu began laughing a throaty laugh until a demonic penis emerged from the ground. It was decorated with swastikas, pentagrams and other signs of forgotten religions. It jizzed into the skies and landed at nearby pedestrians, turning them into cartoonish mutant cowboys. A rather sizeable glob of cum landed few feet away from Oikachu, which then transformed into...Admiral Pisspuke! Who was now made of broken Sega Mega Drive consoles and extreme animosity, was ridden with pores which squirted radioactive boogers, and had a retarded twin sticking out of his knee who cursed at each physical contact.

Oikachu observed his opponent with an amused look, how uncliche yet weird he looked. Oikachu screamed into his own groin, then mega evolved into a Granbull, which wasn't a Granbull, for it was a Gulpin being mentally challenged by 214 Hariyama, who were in fact cloned from the sweat from Michael Jackson's crotch, and an asexual Lucario, who was into depressive-suicidal black metal, being forcefully blown off by a lonely Kingdra. The abstract creature approached Pisspuke and punched him with it's Kingdra. Pisspuke immediately fell in love with Mega Oikachu.

Mega Oikachu made love to himself while Pisspuke cried and fapped with his hairy and rough feet.

Pisspuke then realized something. He was a Poison/Fairy type and sexually attracted to doors. He wore lemon peels on his head, then sniffled at his armpits all while making gorilla sounds.

''Why cubic suns make blood krutons when I masturbate, thinking of her nose?'' Pisspuke pondered. ''I can murder everyone with my toenail, but I'm a kind samarithan, and proud!'' he screamed. He then felt his testicles crack. They broke, and small Pisspuke's emerged from them. They were so powerful, they could drown a fish with ease and slay all Death Dragons by simply making a 'tsk' sound.

Pisspuke felt confused for no reason at all. He talked to his dickhole, pretending it understood, then thought why his liver is such a homophobe. He punched a rift in his stupid skull, withdrew his brain, punched a hole in his stomach, stuffed his brain there, counted to 100000 in exaggerated German, scratched his ass, took a sniff of that arm, took his half-digested brain back and returned it in his skull. He laughed a throaty laugh and danced to hard-hitting and filthy dubstep until his head came off, then he jumped on his head and rode it into sunset like a monocycle, killing the fuck out of it. The sunset is dead now. ._.'

Observing it all made Ash's eyes watery. He shed a carbon tear and smoked monkey nipples, all while painting a poor excuse for a troll face with his piss. Giovanniwas passing by on his Kangaskhan and saw the picture. Seeing it made him laugh his ugly, hairy ass off. Ash was saddened so he laid on the ground and slept, all while his lesbian ninja grandmother's ghost sang him gay songs.

Fon.


	7. Chapter 7

Ash was eating a cucumber, slowly biting a piece off and chowing lazily. His Pikachu stated at him, his trainer's actions caused him to have heavy, homophobic obsessions. When he saw Ash take out another cucumber, then lick it before putting it in his mouth and getting thoughtful with an ambiguously shaped vegetable in his dental cavity, he was pissed beyond any belief. He punched Ash's nose into his brain. then kicked his groin until it sublimated. Pikachu used his organs to build a guitar forged in the blood of glitch demons and glans pirates, then played a riff that summoned a gigantic meteor made of old hookers and filthy dubstep drops, then rode the meteor through Uranus, killing the fuck out of it. The then flew into the dimension where all is upside down, and rode it into Pluto killing the fuck out of it as well. Pikachu raped it's carcass, singing death metal songs. Life was good.

Paul's Azumarill overheard his mischief, and was enraged at this bread-esque rabbit faggot. He vomited krypton, which formed into a sexy djinn with a name made of golem kidneys and utter, unending hatred.

When Pikachu was sleeping, Azumarill and his slave sneaked into his palace, and finding the scroll of rules, decided to edit it a little:

1\. Time is stupid. Space is worthless. Now bounce with your pants off and scream about how good smoking is, since it saves nature by killing humans off.

2\. Baby, my dickhead is made of breakcore and laser dragons, for it is a harbinger of all ending, so you won't bite it when I sleep, nor you will anally masturbate, thinking about it.

3\. If a hooker says she loves you, don't.

4\. Autechre makes the best music in the worlds. Disagree and I'll curse you so you'll be jizzing bile and Madagascar cockroaches will find and impregnate themselves with it to conquer galaxies to live in, make cockroach music and have cockroach orgies.

5\. Rage is a pineapple. Horny mantises gurgle about nurses with chainsaws circumcising gnomes, but you, my friend, shall sleep forever.

6\. All old women after reaching the age of 67 shall listen to Hecate ''Magick Of Female Ejaculation'' and cause each other orgasms ONLY through nipple stimulation, nothing else.

7\. From now on, sexual pleasure shall be estimated as such:

-thunder sun - 45 orgasms and 4543 frustrations.

-apricot carroting - a single lesbian titjob orgasm, where a woman uses her lactating boobs to wank others' clit.

-parrot reincremation - an pair of orgasms so hard, that testes explode, one by one. And lastly...

-Stalin's thoughts of boobs - an orgasm of a man who fucked a whale in it's large erect dickhole, and then sang Michael Jackson's ''Bad''.

Azumarill folded the scroll and went to put it back in Pikachu's pants, but he gasped when he saw his nipples were erect and he grinned like satan on coke. Azumarill sighed when he realized Pikachu was just having a dream. He was about to leave, but the djinn needed her way, so she pulled a nipple of Puke-Achoo's

The bass dropped so hard, the universe orgasmed and all black holes clenched. The Milky Way went into estrus, so it caught a mere human and gave him a time of his life.

2 Bee Cunt-ee-nude.


	8. Chapter 8

Mewtwo was chilling out while driving her newly tuned Nissan Skyline around Hoenn and nodding to gangsta rap. The car was made of clouds and Darmanitans who screamed at pedestrians for no reason at all. She wore golden chains on her neck, a cap turned sideways, a shirt with an ''Atrocity'' writing and BlackGlasses. Suddenly, she nosebled.

A human fell out of thin air and landed in front of Mewtwo's car with a thud and a groan. Mewtwo made a pissed look and bashed the signal button.

''YAAw, MyuuTUU! Yu're nowsbleedin'! Lemihewpya!'' the human said all while making dumb youngster gestures and holding a Full Restore.

''Yaw, faggAt! Ay don' trust summ HUMAN faggAt, ya hiya me, ya madafacka?! Ahma cohwll mah G'sta hoWmEEs an' dey'll gana BUTTRAPE yar ASS 'til ya fuckin' fall ovah, ya hiya meh!?'' Mewtwo wailed back, doing the same effort at gesturing. ''Yaw, pEEple, aren'tya seein' dis mAggAwt tryin' to FUCC wit mey?! Sum NURSE, may fOckin' TAIL!'' she swore, while lighting a cig.

''BataimnadsabadD!''

''AllhumanfaggatsARBADD!''

''AYAMNADBADLEMMEPROOVYAH!'' the human screamed and jumped at Mewtwo, biting at her neck and punching his crotch at Mewtwo's.

Mewtwo immediately fell in love with him.

They made shameless love right in the car, making everything smell of smelly liquids, all while hundreds of people filmed the rude act.

''Ohmigosh luhkaddat!1 Myuutu fAckin' weetahuman1! Owmeegee!1!1'' a girl 15 years of age droned excitedly. Mewtwo made all phones and cameras explode using psychokinesis.

Except the girl's, who refused to post it or Bluetooth it to someone else.

They killed her out of mindless hatred, then they took the phone and posted the vid on Youtube...

...not, at 99% of uploading, Mewtwo destroyed the phone too. Leaving but a last hope: a portable memory card.

They all killed each other out of mindless hatred, then the survivor made 2141421 condoms out of his own intestines and died, turning into an egg full of dust.

The lovepair fucked and laughed.


	9. Chapter 9

Ash's Bulbasaur was sitting on a miniature fake model of a moon that floated in the void 1 meter above the Earth, his head hung in sad memories. When he was born, he was abandoned by his parents for looking like a mutant onion nailed on a lizard's back, then remade thousand times with laser surgery. He was adopted first by Starmies, then by living fork ghosts, then by a death metal Crawdaunt named Awrghanghar. Awrghanghar was a good man, but he utterly hated planes for a reason.

Bulbasaur was tired of his adoptive father's satanic screaming and his team's grinding and screeching instruments, so he punched the drummer in the eye, then ate out the guitar, getting stronger. Awrghanghar yelled at him, but Bulbasaur played him a blast-beat of such speed and brutality, Awrghanghar simply ditched death metal and became a gardener for a reason only he knows.

His soul-poisoning self-reminding was joined by May's Swellow, who arrived on a cranky bike. He had earphones on his head, and listened to Xasthur. He had a dark expression on his face. He ate his transport, laid an egg, wore it on his head then summoned a perfect cube and floated it to Bulbasaur's side. Bulbasaur looked over at Swellow. Under his foot were a black-metal Lucario statue, a glass of wine that is a bottle of sulfuric acid in another dimension, a hooker Blissey and a nameless video-game character who had reasonless Nazi thoughts. a 0,25 dimensional brain and a helium-emitting breath.

Bulbasaur let out a scream that made his mother martyrize a thousand of pedestrians with a screwdriver then crumble into a pile of meat. Swellow laughed, then made fun of Bulbasaur.

''Hehehe, you.'' Swellow droned. Bulbasaur blinked.

''You copy kapoeira too much, for a snail on a molten block of blue cheese. Suns and basketball badgers sneak sadly because apples decompile leather jackets for nuclear tomato whales, and you sit somewhere before rage ever existed, and wish of elephant placentas? Hah! I was less yandere than my cat, and now I'm a police car's exhaust pipe, and-''

Swellow snored right in Bulbasaur's face, who retaliated by drinking cocktail and spitting in Swellow's face. Swellow nicely put his jacket away 100000 times, wore it back 10000000 times, did a 'I-Don't-Know-Kung-Fu-But-I-Watched-Jackie-Chan-Movies' motion and un-fucking-accidentally slashed all his own vital veins with a screwdriver. Then he lighted a cig with the most overwhelmingly sassy look he could muster.

Bulbasaur turned into a picture of a cute creature.

Swellow reappeared in a corridor. The corridor wasn't a corridor, but a room akin to one from a dark nightmare. Swellow made paranoid glances here and there, seeing nothing at all. Suddenly, he heard some angry muttering. From the depths of the corridor emerged monsters resembling horrifyingly pixelated pineapples that muttered absolutely random shit. He saw them approach him with 11,5 inch boners, gay flags and worst of all, a letter shaped like a red ass, commonly called a heart, which was a Valentine letter. Thus was something he just couldn't accept, but they insisted so much that...

...Swellow screamed.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Today, I learned a new word. Helminth. It's a good word, isn't it?

Ash was walking through the Petalburg Forest while listening to Excision when his Pikachu burst opened his pokeball, revealing his form the world. He looked depressing as usual; his tail pulled forward over his head and hung like emo hair. He had red nails, all looked sharp and had a noose-like necklace around his neck.

''I'm an angry trainer, Peck-Anchor. What do you wish from me?'' Ash droned, bending over maximally, with his head level equaling his pokemon's.

*stomach grumble* ''I'm hungry. Gimme sum berries, you shitty helminth.'' Pikachu droned quietly, glaring at Ash.

The trainer grinned and straightened up. His grin slowly spread itself across his face in such a sickening manner, it made satan on coke look kinda down. Then all while grinning, Ash delivered a single the most destructive headbutt ever known to humanity. It was so obliterating and overwhelmingly powerful, it made Nagasaki feel lucky.

Pikachu sighed. ''You're not gonna feed me, are you, dickless midget?'' he asked his greedy trainer. Ash nodded, not losing his crap-feasting expression. Pikachu groaned in despair. Then Ash started dancing dubstep, for Excision - The Paradox drops hard and sick. He danced until his head just fell off, hanging on his spine. He made a retarded face, kicked a pedestrian in the face, smelting him into pure heroine which he harvested into his fist. He punched Arceus with it, smelting it into powder as well, then snorted the Arceusine with joy.

''Hah, you haemorrhoids-eating bedbug, punching a god won't change anything.''

''You saying that won't change anything as well. Why do you think lemony planets fuck like sloth swarms and then sing black metal songs for their mothers' birthdays in the 24,3th bipolar eclipse, fuck-flippety-crap?'' Ash asked.

''Because my fucking asshole stinks of rotten maggots, you turd. Now piss yourself into Zen, and fly away on wings of shit'' Pikachu said.

Ash gaped in disbelief. He sat on an imaginary chair and read an imaginary book, then he started singing Xasthur songs, but he suddenly came. And so suddenly he came, that time wrapped around reality, and they both gangbanged the space, all while Snoop Dogg observed it, laughing with an energy to glitch everything.

Pikachu knelt in defeat. The universe overloaded and tried to explode, but it glitched and now it looked like MissingNo. murdered three and 10000,5 times by Charlie Manson reborn as a chainsaw golem zombie on crack. Ash was still nearby, his grin made a 180. Now emo and goths looked so happy compared to the trainer.

''How come?-''

''Speak no more...my head is going to fucking explode if you say another word...'' Ash said.

Pikachu kicked a rock nearby, and it became a Miltank with a helicopter for a spine. In flew above Pikachu and pissed milk. No, really. It PISSED milk.

''Urinotherapy, Fuck The Worlds.'' Ash droned. Pikachu sighed.


	11. Chapter 11

Admiral Pisspuke sat on Saturn, vomiting and questioning why dubstep sharks fight with podagre ghosts in -24,5th Fucktober in the Street of Pottycockwart, -0th avenue. His stomach denied extraterrestrial life and currency, so he reacted by retching the unfinished excuse for food, and it became dollars, but quickly lost value and vaporized, for Saturn hated dollars. When he was done ridding himself of all bodily liquids, he sat his rump down on the unearthly land, his mind now occupied by genuine melancholy. Later, he began a ritual to achieve calming tranquillization by self-inducing ejaculation through genital shaft stimulation. The object of his fantasies was an uniquely shaped asteroid, whom Pisspuke named Assteriod for a reason. It was smooth, resembling an apricot, but with a single gaping hole in the middle. The Assteroid was in fact an ass on steroids, and this fact made Pisspuke ecstasically erect. He grabbed the foreskin of his pole and pulled it up and down, and so fast, all Ferraris committed envious suicide and Deoxys-Speed wanted to marry it, the foreskin. When he came, he pelted the ass, impregnating it, but yet, propelling it into unknown corners of universe, his love's destination is utterly unknown.

He laid down and cried. He farted in his hand, then brought it up his face, took a sniff and smore it all over his dental cavity. His dumb bollockery was interrupted by an arrival of an Earth spaceship.

The spaceship landed, the doors opened and a woman came out. She wore a tight spacesuit, so tight, her nipples ware visible.

Pisspuke approached her. Her left tit tore through the fabric and freely bounced for all to see and grope.

Pisspuke stared in her eyes. Geez, even a gay would give slight glances to the luscious tit of a woman, but hell, he looked in her eyes. Cool man.

''My dear.'' he droned, and caressed her face through the suit. ''I need your help.'' he said, and started fapping. The woman raised an eyebrow. ''...can I borrow your spaceship?'' he said. She said 'no', which he took as 'yes'. He just walked over into the spaceship and flew away on it.

While he was flying, he couldn't help but fap to the fantasies of his beloved Assteroid. While he did, he heard some muffled sounds.

''WAH! WHO'S HERE!'' he screamed, quickly hiding his stiffy. It was in fact, the woman, forcefully brought in the ship, placed on a bed in his cosmic bedroom. Her feet were tied to her cuffs in a way that made them stay spread and her puffy, meaty organ was all helpless. The fate of her vag was unknown yet determined by highest powers.

When he found his love on a planet Gropecrap, he married her and they had kids:

First, Shittyfuck was a golem made of sweaty diapers and treachery. Its head was in under its foot and where its armpits are, hid its consciousness. He constantly walked in a way that forced him to kick his own penis, the harder he did, the harder he farted.  
Second, Heartyqueef was a carbuncle made of forks' blood and unbelievable agony. His middle finger had this mind-boggling power break evil with a single swing, and his fart was a harbinger of all elephants screaming rape.

''Fuckin' fuckfuckfuck! Fuck-fuckity-fucka-fuckfirst into the dimension of fucks!'' was the voice of Pisspuke. He was running away from a pack of Gardevoir led by a Gallade, but they all galloped, barked and snarled, like dogs. With erections, strap-ons and clubs.

Meanwhile, Shittyfuck drank his brother's potty piss, then punched a hole in his stomach, withdrawing from it a throbbing fangy dildo with laser cannons instead of balls. He punched the tool through Heartyqueef's forehead and blasted his stupid brain off. Heartyqueef in turn grabbed his brain, shoved them up his dickhole and laughed a throaty laugh, which summoned a bonus dragon. The dragon had a hearing: It was a weasel made of suffocating creatures from beyond the sensible galaxy wrapped in ice cream and frozen antimatter. It roared in dubstep voice then snapped it's fingers, which made all pedestrians kill bikers with headsets by executing Clothesline with their thumbs. Shittyfuck was tired of taxes and radical muslims, so he headbutted every bird then fapped with their wings pelting their eyes with his creamy, sticky, white, unholy baby butter, that retarded asshole.

To retaliate from Gallade's Attract, Pisspuke ate his own intestines, then replaced them with a car's engine, so he didn't die. He then rapidly headbutted a brick until he saw cowboy catfishes in thongs dance dubstep in the starry skies of Maharajah while nearby cop badgers sang of futility of power thirst.

Shittyfuck was so enraged, he became a cyberpunk. He slapped his father, but Pisspuke punched Shittyfuck's head off, then used it as a fishing bait at a bile ocean in a dimension of rage sage kindeys. He fished out a dubstep shark. It laughed.

Hearing it made Pisspuke dance to hard-hitting and filthy dubstep until his head came off.

Suddenly, Pisspuke reappeared in a realm of hairy barbarians, who constantly punched each other with savage fuckfists for no reason at all. A barbarian challenged Pisspuke for a fight. Pisspuke laughed.

They fought bearing no mercy or sympathy for each other, kicking crotches, gouging eyes, biting genitals, throwing mouse traps, none were proud fighters to repent from such behavior. All other barbarians surrounded the fighting pair, sitting in a circle and fapping to such hateful intercourse.

The fight raged for seven thousand dozens of ages and one, three and half days. In the end, Pisspuke committed Fatality against the poor otherworldling by biting his head off and drinking his bile through his intestines, then farting at his body through a gas lighter, frying the fuck out of his pitiful soulbox. He made a cinderball from his remains, shoved it up his dickhole and laughed a throaty laugh.

Pisspuke laughed so hard that he reappeared in a satanic church. He fapped his foreskin off, then danced dubstep until his head came off all while satan on coke was watching, laughing, applauding and laughing throatily, boys and girls. 


	12. Chapter 12

A lonely Rocket Grunt was strolling into Distortion World because he realized that his mom gave birth to him and now he is obsessed with vaginas. Suddenly, he encountered a dark blue colored Pikachu.

''My name is Knife Party, and I approve.'' the Mouse Pokemon said.

The Grunt knelt before his master.

The Pikachu withdrew his knife, Resistance, from a dimension where all sapience is an apple. He swung his knife around, trying to show off in vain. The Grunt chuckled to himself.

Knife Party heard that. He faced the Grunt with an angry face and moving the knife VERY close to his right eye, said.

''This. Is a knife.''

Hearing this drove the Grunt into a robotic orgasm and he started notoriously expressing his otherworldly ecstasy with a post-apocalyptic dance featuring waving steps and synchronized motions. Knife Party smiled at his success and went back into 404 on his EDM Death Machine, singing Bonfire. The Grunt danced until his head came off then became...PLUR Police, remix by Jauz!

PLUR Police called out Knife Party. Knife Party turned around. PLUR Police lunged at Knife Party and pinned him down. He moved closer to his ear and whispered.

''Tha' EDM is fuckt bro!''

Right then the bass dropped and so hard that Knife Party's bones and flesh had orgasms on their own. He danced like lost calories would turn into money, and danced so much, his head came off and became...Fire Hive!

Fire Hive gave PLUR Police a grope and slapped with his Micropenis. PLUR Police was pissed beyond any belief...

Fire Hive made fun out of PLUR Police all while he harvested his anger for transformation. Fire Hive overdid it, and PLUR Police became...Internet Friends! VIP!

Horror filled Fire Hive's heart. He was nothing compared to Internet Friends VIP'S second drop. Internet Friends picked up Fire Hive and said:

''And now you're going to die.'' then placed him back.

The bass dropped harder than anything Fire Hive could imagine. His body was consumed by Powers of Dubstep from beyond dimensions and he danced. Nothing but dance he did all while suffering a technogenic orgasm with the force of billion suns. He danced so much, that if he had a head, it's come off, but now he was bound to...enjoy. For eternity.

He exerted all his willpower remains while praying to Skrillex, Excision, xKore, Dirtyphonics and Noisia. His prayer were not unnoticed as he was given a fraction of Power of Dubstep. He came so hard he became Rage Valley, yet it was a remix from a dimension of energy that takes billion limbs to control and to dance to. It dropped so hard and filthy, the space curled up in a cube 214214x-41412x0,1111111111111111111cm, the time cried and all life danced until their heads came off then those heads floated in the air, collecting themselves into a gigantic legion, which emitted dubstep power, for all to dance to. The legion screamed in a garbled, electronic voice.

''YEEEES! OH MY GOD!''

Then the bass dropped. 


	13. Chapter 13

A 2,3m tall robot flew to Earth and started killing men for no reason at all. It ripped their arms off shoving them up their asses, forcing their heads up their dickholes and gutting them with a screwdriver. One human arrived on a tank, but the robot bit on his nipples after bashing through the tank, and flung him away with a dental grip, then hung him with his own intestines on a streetlight. Another one came with a flamethrower, but the robot punched a car driver, then doused the flamethrower guy with its gasoline then shoved the weapon up his anus and fired, making the guy scream fire, enflaming himself like a suicidal anthro dynamite. Then the robot was approached by an army of humans with laser cannons.

The army the robot to surrender.

The robot told them to eat a dick sandwich.

The army laughed.

One of them tried to nail the robot with a laser blast, but it somersaulted and deflected it with a queef, redirecting a fart-empowered laser right in the face of the man who dared to harm the robot. His face was so poisoned, it hardened unbelievably and fell off, becoming a shield to aid robot in killing men.

Suddenly, the Moon swore with a dirty word. He crashed against the Earth and pushed her towards the Sun. The Moon and the Sun double-teamed the Earth all while the robot fapped in the army men's dead faces, observing the unholy transplanetal act. The Earth gave the Sun an oral treatment all while the Moon drilled her naturally, because Uzbekistan was too filthy to fuck.

The Moon came. He took a condom off and threw it away, the contents spilling in an abyss of stars and endlessness.

"YOU SOGGY DICKWART, I WANTED YOUR CHILD!" The Earth screamed, then punched him with her Core, burning his stupid face off. The Sun laughed, but he laughed so hard, he came without pulling out, impregnating the Earth, because she's round no matted where you look at her from.

The Earth gave birth to a smaller Earth, which was already overpopulated. The Robot smiled. 


	14. Chapter 14

Burger and his Zangoose, Leila, were making love on his mom's bed. They were writhing in each other's warmth and touches, twitching and moaning at every contact with a sensitive zone in each other's bodies. Burger broke the kiss with a wet pop, turned his Pokemon around on her stomach, then grabbed her tail and raised it up, giving himself a view of her privates. Burger grinned like satan on coke.

''B-Burger, be careful, please...'' Leila begged. Burger replied with an affirmative hum and dramatically ripped his pants off, revealing his rock-hard shaft, which after being freed of it's restricting grip, made contact with Leila's certain area, which she certainly felt as she jumped a bit.

''Worry not, I'll take care of thee...'' he droned in her ear, his erection painfully pressed against her womanly entrance, but it didn't enter, for that, it was painful. He took hold of her meaty rear and fondled her cheeks as if they were his own. They WERE, in fact, his own, or so he thought. He hardly contained himself and he lunged onto her rear and bit on her buttock, making her yell out a short scream. Using his mouth, he made random things with her ass, making her beg for more. There were times when they, lovers, didn't give a f-

''Yaah! Take me already, I'm hornier than ever! Just take me, I know you want to!'' she pleaded impatiently.

And be obliged.

Burger stopped raping a hole in the bed, and raised himself up, his tool now aimed to where it should be placed. Not able to endure it any more, he drove himself in her as far as he could, making her scream out, and so loud it made his ears ring. Burger went rough on her, not really caring about being gentle. She was way stronger than him naturally.

The act went on, until one of them came. It was a simple, ruthless fuck and the only goal being the sweet release of tension. They didn't stop after a single orgasm, though. Being drunk, Burger's sex drive was enhanced greatly and he didn't stop if he, or she, came.

After a hour of merciless pounding and some pose switches, Burger and Leila slumped on the bed, now utterly exhausted and tired.

Suddenly, she put her ass on his face and gave his nose a hearty queef. It enraged him so much, he punched his head through her intestines and bit on her liver, then he swallowed the vital organ and shitted the half-chewed meat all over her face. She screamed, scratching and biting on his anus, asking for more. It leaked manly lube, while Burger ate her appendix, the two kidneys and lungs, defecating it out with ardour. She ate it all, then her undigestive system remade it all into new and healthy organs. Lastly, he ate her heart. The orgssmic experience of pre-death coprophagia drove her mindless, and she quickly ate the heart crap and later, sighed in content, happy for being alive and not dying a faggoty death like that another girl, who died because Burger had a cruel diarrhea and chronic bipolar necrosis.

Fin. 


End file.
